Thursday, February 18, 2010

Freakin' Out

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it." — David Sedaris

FREAKS. They're everywhere. All you have to do is log onto facebook or hop on a bus and you're likely to encounter at least one. But what exactly is a freak? It's not merely someone with an unusual fashion or crooked nose; it's more than that. And there are a lot of different types of freaks. There are the "eccentric", "fun" and "bitchy" guys (read: closeted but obvious homosexuals) who can be fun in small doses but ultimately leave you wanting less. Then there are the girls who look like "unusual, exciting hippies" from a distance, but the closer you get the more you realize that the most unusual thing about them is their scent, and when I say "unusual", I mean disgusting. And of course, there are the kids who believe that human interaction is secondary to making sure they never get a grade as low as an A-. You can usually recognize this particular brand of freak by their facebook status poking fun at their roommates for not knowing the Pythagorean Theorem.

So yes, this world is full of freaks. There are even some people in the world who are of the mind that everyone is a freak. Although it's true that all individuals have their own little quirks, I don't think that constitutes freakdom. The universal trait that all freaks posses, as far as I can tell, is that they're all incredibly under-aware of themselves. A true freak would never designate themselves as such, because that would break the pure, innocent, enthusiastic freakish magic.

This, I tell myself, is what keeps me from being a freak-- I'm hyper-aware of myself. Yes, I'll wear long striped socks with shorts, I try not to give a shit about what people think (and am somewhat successful), I can completely loose myself in my iPod and not talk to anyone for hours, and my hair- well, that's another blog post completely. But what separates me The Freaks is that I'm aware of my quirks, and I'm definetely aware of others' quirks, and I like to think about and analyze and laugh at them. Freaks don't do that-- analysis, along with bathing, are simply beyond their grasp.

As fun as I think it might be to truly not know about society's expectations and the way in which I and others break them, I've realized that the one of the things I love most in life is thinking about why people do the things they do, and observing people act and react. Eavesdropping is as good as TV for me, and irony is my best friend. So go, freaks, and wear your skirt/leggings/Sketchers combinations free of worry. I cannot be one of you, but know that I will always love you. Never change, and never wear deodarant. Unless, maybe, you're on a crowded bus with no open windows. Seriously.


  1. This may be the best-crafted, most coherent blog post I've read, ever (not that I read a lot of blogs), that also maintains a high level of entertainment and humor. Not surprising coming for you, though.

    Loved the theme about how freaks smell, too. haha.

    Miss you, Blurr. -clurr

  2. love the bit about eavesdropping being on the same level as TV so funny! you should write one about how twilight is mormon propaganda lolz or maybe the use of sketch as a verb?! Im pretty excited about the blair blog project! keep writing!